The Spider and the Frog Pt 3

I was about 11 years old and with my older cousin who showed me how to add a nail to the end of my bow. He was visiting from up north and we were wandering along the shoreline that extended along land that as far as I knew was Morrisseau land.

The weather was perfect. I remember feeling completely alone. Just me. On a perfect day with a bow and arrow in my hand.  A bow and arrow with a nail on the end of my arrow and I was looking for something to kill.

I gave no thought beyond that thought. With this weapon in hand. It was time to hunt. Hunt? No, nothing was going to be eaten. I was going to practice killing.

I came up a beautiful leapord frog. I was taken aback. I can't explain it. I had a fear frogs. I remember being a little boy in The Pas Manitoba and feeling fear about stepping on a frog or being touched by a frog when I was walking in mud puddles. I couldn't explain it.

I remember watching Hawaii 5-0 after the late night local news and in the episode a kidnapper is wearing a frog mask that fit right over his head. I thought it was terrifying. I also knew that it wasn't rational. I knew that frogs were not dangerous in anyway. This is how I felt.

I don't think I thought of any of those things. I know that I waited and so did the frog. Brilliant green and with a white fleshy throat and belly like a pickeral. It wasn't big. A normal size. Eyes round and alert. I stood over it. All was still but for the frog's white throat, expressing breath, heart and life.

I pulled back the bow string and struck the frog in the middle of its body. The nail sunk most way through the creature's soft body and into the ground below, the sharpened edge of the arrow buried half way.

I don't know what I expected to happen. That is not true. I know what I expected to happen. I expected the frog to die. As I watched in horror and then much worse in sadness and shame, the frog struggled to be free, to be free and to live. It tried to hop free. It moved it's legs in crawling motion. No freedom. No life.

And I cannot kill it. I can't kill it.

I walk away and then sit down on the grass and begin to sob uncontrollably. When my cousin finds me I am unconsolable.